Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Good Morning Baltimore!!!!

Hello all,
Well my first blogspot blog, I make this oath to any reader that I will try to update unlike the long lost xanga that I used as a child.

I saw a friends blog about his coming out story and decided I wanted to share mine with the world - its a long twisted tale. But it still proves that coming out in rural Ireland is alot easier than most people believe.

0-13
I remember being at primary school in Tralee and thinking that certain boys in my class were really nice and I wanted to be around them all the time. It all came to a head with the guy I wanted to hang around with when we were in 6th class, (I moved to Ireland from the UK when I was 8) This guy had always really made sure I was ok, Having a loud brummie accent in tralee and being the wimpy sort that I am made me a target for a certain couple of people. *Rich* would always kick the living daylights out of anyone who crossed me. In return I would always ask *Rich* to help me put the television away(it was my job) at the end of the day. One day we were putting the television away and I tried to give him a kiss. I dont know why I did but at the age of 11 I was too confused to make sense of it. We never spoke again.

13-18
Secondary school saw a new best friend emerge and this time like had attracted like. We are still best friends to this day and although he moved to the UK in 3rd year. He came out to his parents within days of moving to the UK. Had a string of boyfriends. Told me this on the phone at 15 i was dead jealous but refused even to him; admit I was gay. At this time I had another best friend Amber. I Live with her now her boyfriend at the time was a fascination of mine. I admitted to them I was gay, fell out with both of them and returned to the closet. It would be 3 years before we became friends again at college.

18-present
COLLEGE!!!!!! loads of new friends. Spent my first year being very straight as my new best friend was. I was very attached to him to the point of driving us both insane. He asked me once and I denied being gay. One of my other friends was adamant I was and I kept telling her I wasn't. Finally just on my 19th birthday my mother went away. I threw a house party. Got very very very drunk and told everyone in one go that "I Like Boys" everyone seemed fine! amazing!
Finally this year I was on gaydar and got chatting to a guy. He was a lovely guy we met up and soon started seeing each other. We found out about a gay social network founded in Tralee and Listowel and we started attending making many good friends. One day he rang me and said that he'd come out to his best friend. I hung up and heart in my mouth I rang my mother................

SHE WAS AMAZINGLY SUPPORTIVE!!!!!!

Why hadn't I trusted her to be before was all that was going through my head.
My relationship with the guy ended shortly after, I don't think that our relationship ever really meant anything - it was more an affirmation of poofness.
Now I don't mind telling anyone, like right now one of my friends said to another guy(who i'd never met before) ahhh u have an ipod u faggot i replied quiet loudly "OI! i have an ipod AND i'm a faggot!" and surprisingly the guy i'd never met didn't bat an eyelid. Proves rural Ireland isnt that bad!!!!!!

I Have loads more stories. I'll be sure to use this as an outlet but I do have a final exam to study for! its tomorrow and i'm failing!

3 comments:

  1. Excellent post Ben! :) Nice story! Hope you dont that I will be linking to it!

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  2. Great story! You should post more!

    --Vlad

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  3. Great post. Well done. Fair play for sharing!

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